RULE: BEST "NOT ANOTHER OFFICE" XMAS PARTY. EVER!
"Sorry, Carole. We're not doing 'casserole potluck' in the cafeteria this year".
memo: to all staff
from: Human Resources
subject: the upcoming (and definitely NOT boring) Office Christmas Party
Dear Team,
It’s that time of year again! The time when the HR department valiantly tries to plan a holiday party that will please absolutely everyone, without any faint echoes of last year’s… “incidents.”
The Goal: A fun party! Inclusive! Exciting! Original!
The Reality: Well… you remember last year...
In the spirit of transparency, let’s review some of the lessons learned from recent festivities that, in hindsight, perhaps didn’t quite hit the mark.
Who can forget Carol’s organic, gluten-free beet casserole that inspired a record-setting bathroom line? (note: This year, let’s leave the beets in the past where they belong.)
While the thought of a friendly Q&A with “Santa” was festive in theory, IT never forgave Jeff from Marketing for grilling “Santa Steve” about budget cuts. The ensuing “Grinch Gate” scandal left morale lower than last quarter’s revenue report.
Despite Luke from Sales’ impressive commitment to a full polyester jumpsuit and battery-operated twinkle lights, this event was less of a ‘show’ and more of a ‘please-stop-spinning’ disaster. Let’s just say that the cleaning crew was not amused.
Which brings us to 2024.
We heard the feedback. Loud and clear. So, after much discussion and weighing of options (and ruling out karaoke… again, thanks, Larry), we’re officially pivoting away from the “traditional” office holiday party.
That’s right, team… the office Christmas party is officially cancelled.
Instead, get ready for this year’s...
[ see private dining ]
Picture an evening of legendary holiday cheer that goes far, far beyond Carol’s casserole. We’re talking jaw-dropping decor, an award-winning menu, and actual, professional entertainment. No potluck, no Secret Santa drama, and absolutely no cubicles in sight. Think elegant dining, top-notch service and all the holiday spirit ( yes, Lyndsey, there will be wine! Lots of it!) minus the office water cooler.
Join us at OCEANOS for an ‘out-of-office’ celebration so incredible, so delicious, and so all-out festive, we’ll finally get to forget the beets, polyester, and past disasters entirely.
Mark your calendars team and get ready to eat, drink, and be merry - the OCEANOS way.